All you need to know about orgasm equality

What is orgasm equality?

Orgasm equality is the goal that women should have as many orgasms as men. According to several recent studies, which are cited in the excellent book Becoming Cliterate by American psychology professor Dr. Laurie Mintz, there is still an extreme inquality when it comes to the frequency at which men and women reach orgasm during sexual encounters.

In a recent study of over two thousand straight women 57% said, they orgasm every time they have sex with a partner, while 95% said their partner orgasms most or every time. That means men orgasm almost twice as often as women during heterosexual sex.

This inequality in the orgasm frequency between men and women is often referred to as the orgasm gap.

Our goal at Lovetoy Erfahrung is to inform the public about this inequality and do anything we can, to enable women to orgasm as frequently as men.

Why is orgasm equality important and how is it connected to gender equality?

Orgasm equality is an important prerequisite for gender equality. Sexual fulfillment and satisfaction are determining factors for the happiness of all human beings. It is an incredible injustice that many women experience a lot less pleasure and satisfaction during sex than men, because of the unequal distribution of orgasm frequency.

Sexual dissatisfaction is an important reason for relationship failures and general feelings of frustration. A lack of satisfying sexual experiences can be especially disturbing for couples and can often even cause relationships to fail – with all the negative consequences like depression, loneliness and a reduced self-esteem.

True gender equality can only be reached if we make equality a priority in the bedroom, too.

What prevents orgasm equality?

The main cause for the orgasm gap is the unrealistic and misogynous idea that women should orgasm from penetration during intercourse. The vast majority of sex scenes in movies and porn show women having incredible orgasms during intercourse. This depiction of female pleasure has nothing to do with reality. Having an orgasm through penetration alone is simply impossible for most women.

After compiling the data from multiple years of anonymous polls Dr. Mintz found out that only 4% (!) of women say, that their most surefire way to orgasm is intercourse alone. That means that 96% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.

Nonetheless clitoral stimulation for example through oral sex, manual stimulation or with a vibrator is almost completely absent from most movies and porn scenes. This one-sided depiction of sexuality in our culture, which focuses above all on male pleasure, is one of the main reasons why women experience sexual satisfaction so much less frequently than men.

How can orgasm equality become a reality?

An important first step towards orgasm equality is to raise awareness among men and women, that the overwhelming majority of women can NOT reach orgasm from intercourse alone. With our art project Girl vs Toy we at Lovetoy Erfahrung try to attract more public attention for this important topic.

Next a basic understanding of female anatomy and female masturbation is necessary. Before most women can orgasm with a Partner, they need to learn to stimulate themselves the right way. You can find important information about this topic in the book by Dr. Mintz and on the brilliant website

To establish orgasm equality in relationships open communication between the partners is paramount. Sex can only become truly satisfying and fulfilling, if both parties are able share their personal needs and desires with each other in an honest and open manner. Becoming Cliterate offers a lot of useful advice on this topic.

How do men benefit from an increased awareness of the importance of clitoral stimulation?

Because of the completely unrealistic depiction of female pleasure in porn scenes and movies, many men believe, that they need to have a big penis, thrust hard and last as long as possible during sex in order to satisfy a woman. These false beliefs cause men a lot of fears, insecurities and feelings of inferiority which can considerably decrease the pleasure that they associate with sex.

If more men knew that female satisfaction can be achieved much better through oral sex, manual stimulation or stimulation with a vibrator, sex would not only become much better for women, but also for men since they could finally relax and enjoy it without the constant feeling of pressure to “perform well” in bed.

More focus on clitoral stimulation, of course, does not mean that there should be no more intercourse with penetration during sexual encounters. According to a poll by Dr. Mintz a large number of women reaches orgasm most reliably through a combination of intercourse and direct clitoral stimulation.

What does the slogan “pleasure for all” mean?

The slogan “pleasure for all” summarizes our conviction that all human being deserve sexual pleasure and fulfillment, no matter their gender, sexual orientation or current relationship status.

More information:

  1. The book on the topic by Dr. Laurie Mintz:
  2. Article in the The Guardian
  3. Bustle article: